It might be hard to believe, but some women experience depression after their wedding day – and this might be more common than you think. According to a U.S. research, about 1 in 10 women experience post-wedding blues. The finding also showed that more couples today are seeking counseling after their wedding. But what causes this phenomenon among newly-married women? As it turns out, there are a number of significant reasons that make women prone to depression after their weddings.
If you’d like to stay happy on the days after your wedding, please read this article.
Liza Lowinger was one such bride who felt depressed right after her wedding. She and her husband Simon Isaac brought in their family and friends from all over the U.S. and even as far as Korea to Vermont for their wedding day. But after such a climactic event in their lives, Liza says the sudden end was quite a plunge that brought her the blues. She recalls that as soon as they got home from their mini-moon she felt sadness, which made it difficult for her even get up and seek help from her friends. Allison Scott and Laura Stafford, researchers at the University of Kentucky, say that post-wedding blues, or the “blue bride” phenomenon, is actually not very uncommon among post-brides.
In their research, Scott and Stafford interviewed women who experienced depression after their wedding. The researchers found that these women see their wedding as the most important day of their lives and the culmination of months of hard preparation. These brides saw their weddings as the height of all their planning, thus they feel a sudden end to the excitement and happiness as soon as that day ends. Scott says that the brides who had this view were more likely to feel depressed after their wedding. She believes that by changing one’s perspective of the wedding as a new beginning, instead of being an end, women can avoid experiencing post-wedding blues.
Liza Lowinger eventually reached out to her friends and learned that she wasn’t alone with how she felt after the wedding and that it was a normal feeling. She also sought the help of a therapist that led her to completely overcome her post-wedding depression after a few weeks. The sessions made her realize that this phenomenon doesn’t mean that something is wrong with her marriage. She explains that she felt extremely joyful on her wedding day that she ended up feeling a sense of loss on the succeeding days when she couldn’t keep that happiness anymore. She now knows that the sadness she felt wasn’t due to the status of her marriage but stemmed from her perspective of her wedding day.
After confronting the physical, mental, and emotional demands of your wedding and the months spent to make that one day special, there will most likely be a vacuum in the coming days. That emptiness may lead you to feel sad and blue.
The way to overcome this is to create activities or plan trips that you can both look forward to as a couple. Or you can also lineup the things you’ve always wanted to do but have set aside for your wedding. Take the days that precede your wedding as an opportunity to a good start of your marriage as well as to make yourself prepared for the journey ahead of you and your husband. The important thing here is to have things to look forward to in order to keep you from feeling empty.
Lowinger points out the lack of transition from her big wedding to the events that followed. Your post-wedding events might not be at par with your wedding but it is up to you to make them exciting and serve as a transition from all the exhilaration.
One factor is almost immediately being away from your family and friends who surrounded you on your wedding. But that doesn’t need to be the case. One way to avoid this feeling of being lonely as a couple is to postpone your honeymoon at a later time so you can be with your closest friends and family for a while longer. You can organize a post-wedding tea party where you can share with everyone your cake while looking back to the best moments of your wedding.
Having difficulty leaving your bed and not talking to anyone may be your initial reaction to your predicament. The problem with depression is it makes you dwell on your negative thoughts and feelings making it difficult for you to open up. But expressing your thoughts and emotions is important to be able to overcome your blues.
For Lowinger, opening up with her friends made her discover that she wasn’t alone. If you ever fall on the same situation, talk to your closest friends about how you’re feeling. Or you can join in online forums for newly-wed brides to have an interaction on the pressing issue. You will not only find women who will most likely know what you’re going through but you can also gain more friends.
Most important of all, talk to your husband about it as he is the most important person who will be affected by your behavior. Making him understand what you’re going through will not only help you but your marriage as well. Overcome your blues to spare your marriage from trouble and make yourself happy.
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