So you may have read our article on buying The Ring and know how to make your money’s worth by memorizing all the 4Cs to buying a good diamond. You may have even gone through our articles on The 3 Factors of Making a Memorable Proposal and have planned out the perfect proposal for your girlfriend! We’re excited for you!
We know what you are thinking. This sounds extremely old-fashioned and perhaps you would exclaim that marriage is just about the two of you! As you will learn in time to come, or perhaps you may have already learnt, it isn’t. When you marry someone, you are also becoming part of her family and clan, while she in turn becomes part of yours. So, no, while the two of you will be the principal players in your marriage, it will not just be about you, but your entire families together.
We hope by now you have already met her family and perhaps have had a meal or two together at family occasions. If her family has taken to you, that’s great! If they haven’t, don’t worry about it; they probably need more time to get to know you better.
Our parents love us very much in spite some of our errors and, in their wisdom, know that marriage is a huge step to take. So out of their love, they will need to make sure that you have the right person to marry. Asking your girlfriend’s parents for their permission to marry her is a way to show your respect to them, who, if things go as planned, will be your own parents too after the wedding.
This will also tell them that you acknowledge their rightful place as her parents. This is important because it’s an emotional thing for most parents as they watch their precious daughter grow from a tiny infant to a teenager to the adult that she is now, ready to marry you.
Besides asking your girlfriend’s parents for her hand in marriage, you will of course also need to inform your own family that you intend to marry her. In the same manner that your girlfriend’s parents have loved her from infancy to adulthood, so have your parents.
Traditionally in some Asian cultures where sons are especially valued, this step you are taking is a declaration of your adulthood which can be perceived as the time you break away from your parents. You may have watched enough movies or drama serials to know the potential challenges between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. Sometimes, this happens because mothers find it hard to acknowledge that their sons are now adults who are responsible for themselves and their own families.
Again, this happens out of their love for their sons whom they carried for 9 months in their wombs and then continued to nurture them to the adults they are today. Informing your parents of your intention to marry your girlfriend will give them time to mentally and emotionally prepare for you leaving them to set up your own family.
Stay tuned for more tips and advice before saying ‘I Do!’
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