Dealing with Family Issues for Your Wedding

Some family issues may surface during the planning of your wedding. You may also find yourself negotiating and accommodating opposing attitudes of some family members even as your busy working on your wedding details. Remember that two things can happen out of confrontations: either the relationship will go sour or, if handled right, it will deepen and strengthen once the issue is resolved. Let your wedding be an opportunity for the latter.

Below are some common sensitive family issues and how to deal with them.


1.   Parents Adding Names to Your Guest List

Because they think it is rude not to (and probably out of tradition as well), your parents might invite your extended family, including aunts, uncles, and cousins who you may not have even spoken to in years, much less have any significant relationship with.

When you are working with a budget, there is nothing rude about being practical by keeping your guests to an intimate group of friends and relatives with whom you have a close relationship. You can even invite only those who at least know the story of your relationship.

Don’t let yourself endure awkward situations at your wedding with relatives you hardly know. Let your parents understand that you want an intimate gathering and that you also need to stick to your budget. Unless they want to spend for the additional guests and they are willing to entertain them at your wedding then you can reconsider.


2.   Parents Who No Longer Get Along Well

Scenario: your parents who are separated are not in good terms but you want both of them to walk you down the aisle or have significant roles – even if not together – at your wedding.

This is a tricky situation but trust that your parents value the importance of your day and will put their enmity aside for your happiness. Also, you know your parents well to say if they will be comfortable to be together to walk you down the aisle. Just be sure to let them know what to expect and if there is a need for them to interact during a part in your wedding.

If they are not talking at all then it’s best to give each of them separate roles at your wedding. Your father can walk you down the aisle while your mother can lead the toast. Or you can have your mom walk you down the aisle and have a dance with your dad. You might also want to consider seating them away from each other to make them more comfortable at your reception.


3.   Satisfying the Demands of Your Future In-Laws

Your fiancé’s mother has some specific needs that are challenging for you to meet such as being allergic to flowers, having a drinking problem, and wanting to join you in your dress selection.

Whatever special needs your future mother-in-law might have, being polite on how you address her will spare you from any trouble. It is important to show her that you will find ways to meet her requests in the best way possible. And if there’s anything that can’t be done as she asks, show her the compromise you are willing to make.

If she happens to be allergic to flowers, know which kind you can have that won’t cause her discomfort. If she is an alcoholic and is trying to quit, seat her with guests who are non-drinkers and have the waiter serve non-alcoholic drinks at that table. If you would like to do dress shopping exclusively with your mom, sister, or best friend, explain to her nicely that you’d like her to see the dress once you’ve made your choice. It’s all about giving alternatives to make her feel that you also consider her needs and wants.

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