Feeling really stressed - please help!
    
 
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  1. #1
    Junior Member RobinWilliams23 is on a distinguished road
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    Feeling really stressed - please help!

    Hi everyone,

    My partner and I have been talking seriously about getting married next year, and have found our dream venue, which is only open for weddings in August. They have one available date next year and I am so tempted to book it but the problem is, we're not engaged yet!

    I don't really want to commit before speaking to friends and family and checking they're free (we are going through a phase with tons of weddings so there's a risk that our friends may have another wedding that date). However, it feels weird to ask people to save the date when we aren't even engaged!

    My partner has planned a proposal but it isn't immediate (e.g. within the next month) and I'm feeling really anxious about how to best handle this. He says that I have to accept that something has to give - i.e. he proposes sooner and it isn't the surprise he's planned, we risk our friends not being able to make it, we tell them and risk looking a bit odd or we risk losing the venue by waiting.

    All of these options feel so unappealing and I feel really stuck. Does anybody have any advice? The option I'm leaning towards is speaking to friends and family but the main issue I have with this is that I think some may think my partner has failed in some way by not proposing yet. I thought maybe I could tell them that he has offered to take me to choose a ring or something so it is clear that a proposal is on the cards but they don't feel like I have been shortchanged by the lack of surprise/romance. However, I'm not sure if my parents (for example) would like the idea that I didn't get a traditional surprise proposal.

    I am totally overthinking this and would appreciate any thoughts and solutions!

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Junior Member AnastasiaQQ is on a distinguished road
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    Hi, seems you are very concerned of what others think. Honestly, this relationship and wedding is yours, don't let what other people think affect your decision too much. Good friends and family will support you as long as you are happy.

    Anyway, a lot of people are getting engaged first then slowly plan out the wedding. Having the wedding at a later date will save you all the trouble you mentioned.

    Your partner will have time to plan a romantic proposal, you guys will get engaged first, choose a few dates available, ask your closer friends and family (the ones who you think must not miss your wedding) which date is the best, book the venue then send your invitation to everybody.

  3. #3
    Member alias_candy is infamous around these parts
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    Bottling it all up and keeping your thoughts to yourself will only suffocate you. Talk to a trusted loved one/friend, that will help for sure!

  4. #4
    Junior Member bluesky3000 is on a distinguished road
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    Dont rush, enjoy what is at happen, there is always time for you guys as you guys spend eternity tgt!

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