How do you deal with Ang Baos received during wedding banquet?

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lovemia

New member
Will you keep the money or have to give to bride's parents? Any brides parents here insist that the ang bao money have to give to them? (traditional thinking, but my parents often joke about it still, haha)

If really have to give them, I think my htb and I will cry, no money to buy house already haha :)
 
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sweelina

New member
I know there are some nasty parents that still insists to give them the $$.. But i still feel it depends if your parents pay the banquet. For us, we paid using our own savings so we will keep the money. But u may consider to split it based on how many tables on your side & how many on yr htb's side.. For the splitting part, I am sstill discussing abt it with my htb... and of course if you wish to split the money 50% each is also okay.. Hope it helps!!
 
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rainne

New member
I have a friend who got married at a young age so his parents sponsored his entire wedding banquet, so they both agreed to give the ang bao money to his parents.
 
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pinnpinn

New member
I guess it depends on who will be paying for the wedding? If ur parents help out, you might wanna ask them for their opinion. I believe not all parents who paid partially for their's children wedding will want to get it back from them!
 
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tracylim

New member
yea what pinnpinn said is true, my htb parents said they are going to give us a huge sum to help us out for the wedding dinner cos we said we didnt want it to be too big due to high cost so they decided to give us more $ to hold a grandier wedding oops :blushing: they said they we do not have to return them the money but I guess if we would want to give them some back. :)
 
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PrincessCrystal

New member
usually the angbaos money given by relatives/friends of the bride's mum, the bride's mum will keep. the rest of the angbaos u can keep it. if bride's mum is fine with giving the angbaos to you, then you will not worry much! im sure if your parents know you do not have enough money, they will let u keep the angbaos.
 
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pinnpinn

New member
tracylim said:
yea what pinnpinn said is true, my htb parents said they are going to give us a huge sum to help us out for the wedding dinner cos we said we didnt want it to be too big due to high cost so they decided to give us more $ to hold a grandier wedding oops :blushing: they said they we do not have to return them the money but I guess if we would want to give them some back. :)
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WOW! Sooo lucky! Im not sure whether both our parents will "sponsor" some money for my wedding in the future. hehe *PRAY HARD*
 
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rojak

New member
Hi lovemia, it really depends on who is forking out the money for the banquet. For some traditional families, the groom's side are the ones who pay for the banquet, and a few tables are "given" to the brides' family to invite their relatives and friends. The angbaos for these "given" tables then go to the bride's family. Other angbaos from the banquet usually go back to the groom's family.

However, if you and your partner are the ones paying for the banquet, it is reasonable to discuss with your parents that the angbaos should be returned to you to cover for the banquet expenses. If not too many relatives are invited, you may consider leaving a portion of the angbaos with them, or let them keep whatever angbaos are given to them directly by the friends and relatives. This is done to show respect and as a gift for the parents to thank them for raising you up. of course, this is optional depending on your financial capabilities. Hope this helps! :)
 
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kimchoo

New member
i think if the couple is paying for the wedding themselves, then maybe can discuss with the parents to keep the ang paos, like rojak has said. but in this case, what do you all think about the ang paos collected from the tables that the bride's side has requested as part of the dowry? does the bride's parents get to keep the ang paos from those tables since the groom's side should come up with the money to buy those tables?
 
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lovemia

New member
Thank you dears for the helpful replies! I talked with htb and he says he might wanna give some to my parents to appreciate them for bringing me up. The rest will keep for our love nest :)
 
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meilingg

New member
ya, nowadays banquets not cheap. Needs to cover up the expenses especially if the groom and bride are forking money out of their own...
 
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cheesecake

New member
But indeed there are quite some old-fashioned parents who will still insist to keep the angpows. I seen quite a few on my own before. And the bride & groom (my friend) tells me about their pain. Poorthing leh.
 
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meilingg

New member
I seriously think that although parents might have brought us up and we needs to "repay" them. But i think we can repay them in another way. Not as if daughter married equal not their child anymore.
The pain is definitely huge if the angpows gave to them. Maybe partly ok. But if they are understanding how much effort and money put it, they should spare a thought for us too.
 
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cheesecake

New member
meilingg said:
I seriously think that although parents might have brought us up and we needs to "repay" them. But i think we can repay them in another way. Not as if daughter married equal not their child anymore.
The pain is definitely huge if the angpows gave to them. Maybe partly ok. But if they are understanding how much effort and money put it, they should spare a thought for us too.
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Well... not every parents does. I'm very glad that my mom is understanding enough for not asking anything from my HTB. All she ask for is to request my HTB to ensure whatever arrangement is for the benefit of our (bride & groom) happy feelings.

She kept emphasize "as long as both of u happy can liao. this is all i ask for. no nid to spent so much money just to please the old people."
 
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meilingg

New member
cheesecake said:
Well... not every parents does. I'm very glad that my mom is understanding enough for not asking anything from my HTB. All she ask for is to request my HTB to ensure whatever arrangement is for the benefit of our (bride & groom) happy feelings.

She kept emphasize "as long as both of u happy can liao. this is all i ask for. no nid to spent so much money just to please the old people."
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That's very understanding and nice of her! True la, cos she is not "selling" her daughter also what.
 
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poohbeary

New member
wah cheesecake! your mother is so sweet hor! sometimes it is during times like these that we really learn to appreciate our own parents leh...so touched by the understanding and love lor...
 
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kimchoo

New member
Yeah...but we have to be very careful in communicating with them on these. I think it's rather sensitive and can be taken the wrong way if not phrased carefully.
 
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