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14-06-2011 10:51 AM #16
She kept emphasize "as long as both of u happy can liao. this is all i ask for. no nid to spent so much money just to please the old people."
14-06-2011 11:12 AM #17
14-06-2011 02:19 PM #18
wah cheesecake! your mother is so sweet hor! sometimes it is during times like these that we really learn to appreciate our own parents leh...so touched by the understanding and love lor...
14-06-2011 02:21 PM #19
Yeah...but we have to be very careful in communicating with them on these. I think it's rather sensitive and can be taken the wrong way if not phrased carefully.
14-06-2011 02:23 PM #20
quite true too. the issue might be abit too sensitive at times. Communication is important...
14-06-2011 02:33 PM #21
i agree that money can be quite a sensitive issue. I think if the groom's side offered a huge "pin jin", the banquet wouldn't need to be yet another thing you give to your parents to display your gratitude. I personally think the money isn't that important to the parents. What they want to see is your "heart", your willingness to give it to them. The more you offer to them, the less they would want to take back if they are being reasonable. They just want to know that you love them, appreciate them, and that the groom is going to give you happiness. The rest is secondary
14-06-2011 02:39 PM #22
Very true...It's like the act of showing them gratitude that is not just through the wedding. Making sure we continue to do our part as a daughter/ daughter-in-law after we marry is what is most important!
15-06-2011 09:56 AM #23
Yes Meiling.. We can repay our parents in other way. Like taking care of them as they brought us up.. My mum did understand we are under a lot of pressure by paying on our own so she did not insist that I have to give her back.. Of course if possible, she do not wish to invite too many relatives cos it means we have to pay anyway Pin Jin is still a must!
15-06-2011 10:08 AM #24
15-06-2011 10:48 AM #25
My parents actually told me that I dont have to invite all my relatives for my event! They say no point cos its only ROM and it will cost me alot of money (which is true). And I told them that if the relatives are willing to give me red packet, I dont mind inviting them! (can cover their headcount cost. Haha)
Anyway, my parents too, are not kinda parents that will want me to "repay" them back in form of monetary terms. They actually open another account for the monthly allowance I gave them, saying that it's additional saving on my behalf (when it's meant for them to spend)
15-06-2011 02:15 PM #26
actually regarding relatives, i think they give much more than most friends! usually their angbaos cover for more than what you'll need to pay for their share of the food etc.. so i believe inviting relatives over for your wedding wouldn't be that bad.. starting cost is higher coz more pple, but their angbaos will cover it.. so no worries
15-06-2011 02:20 PM #27
Both my parents and my HTB's parents will be helping out a little on our wedding (As we dont have much savings!) Even though they say let it treat it as a wedding gift to us from them, should I give them some of my angbaos money?
15-06-2011 03:26 PM #28
15-06-2011 04:07 PM #29
For mine, we will try to settle everything between the 2 of us. Our parents are our backup for just in case financially.
Since we are the ones paying for the everything, then the money in the angbao box should be eventually to our funds to pay for the banquet after the events ends.
Even if parent's friends give my parents ang bao, they will have to take them out for the after banquet bills.
However, I am glad that my dad is supporting me financially for paying for my banquet and honeymoon to Japan. But to me, I will try not to use their money if we can effort to do so.
Summary: Who pay for the banquet, who keep the ang bao whether you "lose" or "earn"
16-06-2011 03:43 PM #30
pinnpinn: i think ROM maybe like your parents say, don't need to invite all the relatives? im sure they will be invited to the dinner and in some of the minds of the older relatives, the ROM not really the "official" wedding. only the customary part of the wedding which inclues the dinner and all the traditional stuff that makes the wedding "official".