How to tell people very nicely you won't be inviting them for the banquet?

[shopperholic]

Hey ladies, just wondering...erm if any of you have had friends who "automatically" assume they are invited to your wedding but you are not planning to invite them? How do you "tell" or "hint" to them that you are not inviting them? :tongue::tongue:

 

[meilingg]

yes yes!!!
My banquet is next year and there are people telling me remember to send invites to them...
I don't know how to reject~~~~

 

[babasheep]

seems like a tricky situation.. probably i'll just say okok.. and dun send them the invites? and hopefully they will get the idea when the date is close

 

[rojak]

"i'll let you know nearer the date"

or you can just explain to them that it would be a rather small cosy wedding.. they'll get the hint..

 

[meilingg]

But sometimes we will scare they will feel offended?
They will be thinking why you invite so and so but not them?

 

[cheesecake]

Wah... like dat ah... i think i offended many people already.

People also kept asking me to invite them, but my wedding dinner is really very small.

I just tell them... "still early la. even if i have wedding dinner, probably it would be just a small family and a handful of close friends gathering like that"

Did this sound offensive or not huh?

 

[jellybean]

I think that it's acceptable explanation. I will understand if someone told me that

 

[meilingg]

Wah... like dat ah... i think i offended many people already.

People also kept asking me to invite them, but my wedding dinner is really very small.

I just tell them... "still early la. even if i have wedding dinner, probably it would be just a small family and a handful of close friends gathering like that"

Did this sound offensive or not huh?

Like that should be ok lah.

But then like my case, some will think that you treat them quite close and they sure will be invited.. but then in the first place in my name list, their names are not there...

I just hope when date gets nearer, i will just tell them my wedding is really a small one so can't invite everybody...

 

[cryoaz]

I just tell people it's a small scale event. They will understand one.

 

[shopperholic]

I think the small scale explanation sounds reasonable. just that after the dinner they found out you invited some friends but not them, how to erm explain it away? rather embarrassing i think?

 

[pinnpinn]

Mine is a small scale event too. For my ROM, told a couple of my friends about it and my HTB told his friends about it too. And they are all really understanding. I guess cos it's not the actual dinner so it's not too bad for us? Our situation I meant. But if they are really ur close friends or understand you, they wont feel offended. Maybe you can like have a mini "celebration" outside of ur wedding?

 

[Tenshi]

well it either you tell them ok ok then dun send them the invitation.... after that if meet up they ask you just say that you miss them out lor cause too buzy liao... hahahah

if not as the rest say tell them its just a small event most people will understand.

or if not tell them ok ok then dun send them the invitation...after that just say that you guys final decision is a small event lor ..

hello people we are no longer like the older generation liao did not invite this or that person will offend this or that person no face la now a days most people are very understanding and if they are not invited they also save money leh ... you think go to your wedding no need to give ang pow meh.

 

[jgtan]

Just tell them it is a small affair and only inviting family members? WIll it work?

 

[Tenshi]

jgtan i think you just add in "and a few close friends will be better" like that nothing will go wrong.

 

[lassymoo]

hahah...yeah must specify "few close friends". i won't expect a fren i haven't spoken to in 10 years to invite me to a wedding banquet!

 

[sweetluv]

Haha this is a good topic. I sometimes feel hurt that my friends didnt invite me to their wedding (never contact a few years only, but last time v close). Most of the times they say that it's a small affair. but inviting relatives is important, you will see them every chinese new year haha!

but i guess different people have different concerns, often times it's budget that's why they cannot have too many people. after all an average person has over 300+ friends

 

[angelwings]

most common reason is 'just a small affair with family and friends', i hear that twice already. then they say they share their wedding with us via pictures on facebook, haha

 

[cryoaz]

I told my manager i apply Marriage leave for my wedding in Oct. She ask whether i got invite, i said yes, but it's a small affair and i frankly told her that i invite because of parents, cause they want to invite relatives, not for myself. She ask me to invite office colleagues as well, and that office colleagues can easily add up to one table. She didn't seem to get my point. I told her i will see how. I didn't confirm with her that i will invite office colleagues.
The next day she told another lunch colleague about my wedding. Seems like there's no turning back as in i cannot dun invite office colleagues already. I told my manager i dun wan to invite my boss but my manager say if invite got to invite my boss as well.
Now what can i do? Was thinking should i just tell her that my father in law side need more seats and i got not enough sleep for all the colleagues in my department? And that i can only invite a few? And if i only invite a few the rest never invite also not nice?
My manager overall she's quite a nice person, can feel that she wants to come attend the wedding, but difficult to selectively invite....Haiz....

 

[emilyy]

hi cryoaz, that's quite a tough predicament. how many people can your venue accomodate? if it cannot accomodate more than what you planned for, you can use that as an excuse?

 

[cheesecake]

I told my manager i apply Marriage leave for my wedding in Oct. She ask whether i got invite, i said yes, but it's a small affair and i frankly told her that i invite because of parents, cause they want to invite relatives, not for myself. She ask me to invite office colleagues as well, and that office colleagues can easily add up to one table. She didn't seem to get my point. I told her i will see how. I didn't confirm with her that i will invite office colleagues.
The next day she told another lunch colleague about my wedding. Seems like there's no turning back as in i cannot dun invite office colleagues already. I told my manager i dun wan to invite my boss but my manager say if invite got to invite my boss as well.
Now what can i do? Was thinking should i just tell her that my father in law side need more seats and i got not enough sleep for all the colleagues in my department? And that i can only invite a few? And if i only invite a few the rest never invite also not nice?
My manager overall she's quite a nice person, can feel that she wants to come attend the wedding, but difficult to selectively invite....Haiz....

Maybe u may want to say that your MIL's invitation list suddenly shoot up and no turning back. Say u hav no choice but to give way?

I think ah... i wont invite colleagues. Even tho my colleagues is just a handful.