How to tell people very nicely you won't be inviting them for the banquet?

[sweetluv]

Haha this is a good topic. I sometimes feel hurt that my friends didnt invite me to their wedding (never contact a few years only, but last time v close). Most of the times they say that it's a small affair. but inviting relatives is important, you will see them every chinese new year haha!

but i guess different people have different concerns, often times it's budget that's why they cannot have too many people. after all an average person has over 300+ friends

[angelwings]

most common reason is 'just a small affair with family and friends', i hear that twice already. then they say they share their wedding with us via pictures on facebook, haha

[cryoaz]

I told my manager i apply Marriage leave for my wedding in Oct. She ask whether i got invite, i said yes, but it's a small affair and i frankly told her that i invite because of parents, cause they want to invite relatives, not for myself. She ask me to invite office colleagues as well, and that office colleagues can easily add up to one table. She didn't seem to get my point. I told her i will see how. I didn't confirm with her that i will invite office colleagues.
The next day she told another lunch colleague about my wedding. Seems like there's no turning back as in i cannot dun invite office colleagues already. I told my manager i dun wan to invite my boss but my manager say if invite got to invite my boss as well.
Now what can i do? Was thinking should i just tell her that my father in law side need more seats and i got not enough sleep for all the colleagues in my department? And that i can only invite a few? And if i only invite a few the rest never invite also not nice?
My manager overall she's quite a nice person, can feel that she wants to come attend the wedding, but difficult to selectively invite....Haiz....

[emilyy]

hi cryoaz, that's quite a tough predicament. how many people can your venue accomodate? if it cannot accomodate more than what you planned for, you can use that as an excuse?

[cheesecake]

I told my manager i apply Marriage leave for my wedding in Oct. She ask whether i got invite, i said yes, but it's a small affair and i frankly told her that i invite because of parents, cause they want to invite relatives, not for myself. She ask me to invite office colleagues as well, and that office colleagues can easily add up to one table. She didn't seem to get my point. I told her i will see how. I didn't confirm with her that i will invite office colleagues.
The next day she told another lunch colleague about my wedding. Seems like there's no turning back as in i cannot dun invite office colleagues already. I told my manager i dun wan to invite my boss but my manager say if invite got to invite my boss as well.
Now what can i do? Was thinking should i just tell her that my father in law side need more seats and i got not enough sleep for all the colleagues in my department? And that i can only invite a few? And if i only invite a few the rest never invite also not nice?
My manager overall she's quite a nice person, can feel that she wants to come attend the wedding, but difficult to selectively invite....Haiz....

Maybe u may want to say that your MIL's invitation list suddenly shoot up and no turning back. Say u hav no choice but to give way?

I think ah... i wont invite colleagues. Even tho my colleagues is just a handful.

[emilyy]

inviting colleagues is very tough leh. once you invite a few, if you never invite the rest, the whole office will talk

[cryoaz]

hi cryoaz, that's quite a tough predicament. how many people can your venue accomodate? if it cannot accomodate more than what you planned for, you can use that as an excuse?

I only having 9 tables. Office if inviting will be inviting around 7 people. If invite the 7 people in office, i will have to increase some tables from 10 seats to 12 seats as out of the 9 tables, 5 tables can accomodate up to 12 seats. But the thing is that as not as if i veri close to everyone in department. Because of my manger end up i have to invite them as well. If i did mention to her before cannot increase table already. What if i tell her that my father in law side need more seats and that i cannot invite all the 7 people in the office already????

[emilyy]

yea i think you can do that, she should understand. If she dont understand then she is quite dense. 9 tables is quite few already, can't believe she still impose her expectations on you. Yes i think you can tell her that your father in law side need more tables, say that you don't want to offend him because he will be your father in law! haha

[cryoaz]

yea i think you can do that, she should understand. If she dont understand then she is quite dense. 9 tables is quite few already, can't believe she still impose her expectations on you. Yes i think you can tell her that your father in law side need more tables, say that you don't want to offend him because he will be your father in law! haha

Yes Thought of telling that to her that my father in law needs more seats... and that not enough tables to invite all the colleauges and it's not nice to invite a few and not all....would it be offending to her?
I also mention to my manager that i will not be giving out invitiation cards (since it's mainly relatives small affiar so we just call by phone). She like quite surprise, told me invitation card can DIY one. The next day she ask me again if i having invitation card i said no, and that since my mum say dun need i wouldn't be printing. Wa lau....

[emilyy]

Lol yr manager so nosey! haha! I think that is a good excuse. Seems that she is so interested in going to your wedding, you can ask her when is she having hers! hehe!

for the invitation cards one, i think your reasoning is good, she's too kaypoh! Dont need to bring up the topic about your wedding to anyone in your office, otherwise once your manager hear she will ask you non stop about it haha!

[cryoaz]

Lol yr manager so nosey! haha! I think that is a good excuse. Seems that she is so interested in going to your wedding, you can ask her when is she having hers! hehe!

for the invitation cards one, i think your reasoning is good, she's too kaypoh! Dont need to bring up the topic about your wedding to anyone in your office, otherwise once your manager hear she will ask you non stop about it haha!

haha....she's in her mid 40s still single.... but she's a nice lady....just that mine is really a simple affair i not particular about most of the things... she see like how come my wedding i so qing qing chai chai one....like that she also wan to interfere....

[cryoaz]

When nearer to ur wedding day, just inform her not abt to invite any colleagues due to table constraints. and maybe can get some cakes/pastries for your colleagues as a form of courtesy

Told her need to wait for father in law side to confirm his seats first in case not enough i have to let him have priority.... Anyway i realise she already mention to my colleagues about my wedding......But i pretended that i dun know and told her not to let the other colleagues know first as in case never invite them due to insufficient seats. And she honestly told me she already inform them.

I suppose she feel it's a happy occasion so no need to hide but because it's a small affair didn't intend to invite colleagues that's why kept it low profile....

[tanmichael1980]

Specifying "few close friends"??? I've got people telling me "thanks for letting me know that i'm not even close to you"... tough...

[cryoaz]

Specifying "few close friends"??? I've got people telling me "thanks for letting me know that i'm not even close to you"... tough...

Hmmm...i guess those who understand wouldn't comment much....just that there might be some who would mind....
I realise best is to say not having banquet but that would be lying....Can only say limited tables, small event and mainly for relatives and family members..... Can't satifsy everybody....even if satisfy already will end up make yourself unhappy.....

[cryoaz]

If your wedding is a small scale event meant for relatives and close friends and you still have some spare seats, would you want to invite your office colleagues whom you are not very close with to come to help you fill up the seats? (as you dun have other relatives or close friends to call already). Or you would rather leave the seats empty because the event is meant for people who are close to you and inviting office colleagues defeats the purpose already.