Marriage Preparation Course

rainbow

New member
hi ladies, do any of you go for marriage preparation course before your wedding? I should be going for one organized by my church, recently fiance and me have been facing issues which i think are good to iron out before getting married.

would like to know if any brides here go for such courses to sort out differences before tying the knot? :wub:
 

beerish

New member
I was thinking of going for marriage counselling, but mine is closer to buddhist spirirtual side. But still thinking of whether to spend this amt of money. hehe.. :)
 

tracylim

New member
I think marriage preparation/counselling is good, its not necessarily a religious thing but in most marriage preparation workshops they go through stuff like finding out each other's personalities that you be surprised you do not know about your partner despite being together for years. Different people have different kinds of "hidden rules" and different birth orders. For example the way a toilet roll is placed can also cause a conflict lol. htb may be picky about placing certain items in a certain way at home while i may prefer it another way.

I have a friend who just cannot stand wet toilet floors and its a hidden rule to have her husband use a floor towel to dry the floor after her hubby finish showering. her hubby of cos couldn't understand why it has to be done tat way but if he doesnt do it his wife is gonna be upset about it. So this kind of small little "personal habits/preferences" can be learnt and ironed out in wedding preparation workshops/counselling. They may seem small, but many occurrences of it can snowball into a big conflict one day. So I believe its healthy and good to go for marriage counselling before getting married. :)
 

faitheee

New member
I think it's good to attend a marriage preparation course because the course will give the couple the opportunity to talk about certain topics or issues that we may not talk about on day-to-day chat, eg. what to do when there is a disagreement, when is the tipping point, who will call for a cool off time, how we have been managing our own finances, how we would want to finance the finance after marriage, how many children u want, when u want, and even topics like how many times to have physical intimacy a week, when it preferably should be.
I attended one conducted by TOUCH Community Services and it gave my fiance and I the opportunity to talk things out. Not so much of "sorting out differences" or "trying to come to a consensus", but really more of seeing that marriage encompasses so many aspects of things and understanding each other's point of view on issues.
I would recommend going for marriage preparation course. :)
 

rojak

New member
i agree it is good to attend a marriage preparation course, for all the above listed reasons. I'm not sure how long or how extensive the courses usually are, but the one i am currently attending is ~9-10 lessons, each spanning 2-3 hours. The topics varies alot and covers a lot of topics, including personal history (education, employment, family..), relationship history (ur ex-es and some details), personality tests, views and lessons on sexual intercourse, in-laws, children, family planning, budgeting and financing for the wedding and beyond... there's even a lesson where we have to "interview" our parents and future in-laws -- it forces us to not only plan our own marriage, but also involve our parents and ask them for advice and opinions that we would otherwise not have thought about. it's very interesting and rewarding. my counsellor is an experienced counsellor and we go through the course together with his wife (also a counsellor), so there is alot of sharing on their part and we learn alot more of wedded life. :)
 

tracylim

New member
Ooh yes the MCYS one is very cheap and is very detailed throughout the course I heard from my friend. Private courses can easily go above $1k..
 

masc0t

New member
My fiance and I attended the Catholic Engaged Encounter. It's a weekend stay-in thing. We thought it's good.
 

rojak

New member
OH! didn't know need to pay. No, the one i go for is free... but it's only for people getting married in my church :)
 

rojak

New member
tracy: my church is glory presbyterian church. how come need to pay? Is it an external counsellor that you guys book for the marriage preparation course?
 

tracylim

New member
Oh no it wasnt an external counsellor. It was by REACH family centre that is a community service centre by Grace AOG I think. Its a 4 weekly session course thing in which there were counsellors who spoke in the workshop. Is yours a few sessions too?
 

rojak

New member
Oh no it wasnt an external counsellor. It was by REACH family centre that is a community service centre by Grace AOG I think. Its a 4 weekly session course thing in which there were counsellors who spoke in the workshop. Is yours a few sessions too?

ohhh i see i see. mine is a total of 9-10 sessions, depending on the needs of the couple. frequency is flexible, usually fortnightly so that couples can prepare for the sessions. we're given some "homework" in which we do, then we have to meet to discuss with the other half, before going for the session. is quite a bit of commitment, but we do benefit quite a bit for some sessions.
 

pipee

New member
hey all! another newbie here :)

my close friend strongly recommends marriage counselling - she thinks it transcends religion and believes it'd really help couples discover and understand each other before committing to a life-long union - and i agree!
problem is, the fiance is not exactly for it. he thinks its ultimately a couple's decision to be together and thus should decide their suitability /plan their lives/ set their ideals between themselves.
just wondering if anyone here faced a similar situation before one of you gave in? :blink:
 
Top