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12-10-2012 11:10 PM #1
Need some advice on dowry, angpaos etc
good evening all,
I have a girlfriend now (my 1st), and at this point in time, and after all the weddings i attended and gossipy relatives, so, i want to know more abt the proces..
in 21st century singapore, what does the groom has to do or pay?
1. pay a lump sum of $ to the bride's family? if so, whats the market amt?
2. all red packets must give to the bride? or 50-50 or see is whose guests give one then the party keep?
3. for red packets do the couple keep them then offset banquet etc or some must give to wife or wife family?
4. wedding banquet normally bride gets how many % tables? and groom pays all or up to a certain % then wife pays the rest?
5. jewellery.. who buys, who pays, who keeps?
I think some qns may sounds funny.. assume the couple keeps all red packets together and use them to pay for all the costs, then really no need for all these "arrangements"?
would like to know if there is a "rule of thumb" or consensus out there regarding such things.
pardon my ignorance
and also because, my girlfriend is not a singaporean. yes, i know true love knows no boundaries, but being practical and cautious at the same time, i dont want to have the wrong assumption when we bring up such issues. different cultures sees wedding in diff perspectives
13-10-2012 12:22 AM #2
1) Depends on bride family is better to discuss with her family.
2) If all the red packet goes to the bride family you will faint, assume a table cost $1000 and you got 30 tables you got to prepare $30,000 to give away.
For what I seen the money usually split 3 ways, your parents will collect from your relatives, her parents will collect from her relatives and you can only collect from friends.
3) The best case is that for the wedding couple to collect all ang bao and use the money for the wedding dinner, trust me bro 90% you still have to fork up extra.
4) Depends on wife side, if her family is big, her parents will ask for more tables, do note the more tables they asked, the more you lose.
5) If guy side is rich usually is provided by guy side. If not, proposal ring is usually bought by guy, wedding bands usually both share.
I can go on and on with the customs but most important is what the bride family wants.
If your gf is not a Singaporean means it will be tougher for you.
1) You got to plan for 2 weddings, 1 in Singapore for your relatives and 1 in her own country.
2) Expense is high and if she is not a PR it will be difficult to get a HDB.
16-10-2012 05:46 PM #3
20-10-2012 12:01 PM #4
Thanks for sharing!!!!!!!!!!!!!
21-10-2012 10:16 PM #5
For the bride price, usually bride side will return part of it to signify good relations and they are not greedy.
Some groom instead of giving bride price, they will give the bride parents certain no of banquet table, hence bride parents can keep the Ang pow $.
I have heard from my friend the groom gave $20k bride price, expected the bride parents to return part of it but they kept everything. They also kept the Ang pow from the brides' relatives banquet tables. Hence it would be best to discuss and give within your means.
Hope this helps.
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