Paying for wedding.

[Mike1982]

try to have both HTB + WTB to share the effort (proportion of how much, let the couple themselve mutually arrange)
i suppose is part of the processing of planning + problem solving for pre (and subsequently, post) wedding, IMHO

[ViviYong]

Hi there, I am new here. Am planning to get married next year. but am confuse as how do we settle the tables for the banquet? My mum side or his side? we are planning to take at least 25 tables, and my mum would like to have 8 tables. how do we settle the amount from there?

[Tenshi]

ViviYoung when you say your mum would like to have 8 tables which most likely to mean that 8 tables of ang bao will be hers to keep. Therefore if your htb is paying for all the tables and keep the ang bao, he will have less 8 tables of ang bao to keep.

As nowadays banquet is very expensive so do check with your mum when she request for 8 tables does tat means tat 8 tables of ang bao she keep or she just telling you tat she need 8 tables to accomodate guests that she wants to invite but not keeping the ang bao. Try to clear this matter with your mum alone soon so that you guys will at least know how much to pay end of the day.

[ZSW]

for us, we split 50/50 on everything including wedding bands. i think that's only fair except for the proposal ring.
even for dinner, we are also splitting 50/50. tables wise, we told our parents we are paying for it so we will split evenly between both parents and they ensure they invite the right # of guests.
However, his parents required 2 more tables, so we max out our ballroom and he has to give up one from his friends.
as for angbaos, since we are paying for the wedding, we will keep the angbaos.
think that's only fair.. most parents now won't keep the angbao for themselves cos they understand how much it cost for us to hold a dinner like that.

[Sweetsobriquet]

If the hubby earns more and therefore has to apportion more to the wedding costs, does that mean he has more "say" in what he wants in a wedding?

[ViviYong]

Thank you tenshi. Yeah, she is keeping the angbao. Have talk to her regarding the table, which I agree it's very expansive...

[ViviYong]

Thank you ZSW, I agree with you too, cause we are the ones paying for the dinner. But she say, it's a form of " taking care of me" thingy. It's still mothery love I guess.. So my HTB say he will pay for it, in return I have to minimize some stuff~ still, its quite alot of money already, just that 8 table.

[ZSW]

Viviyong: if your HTB can afford to pay for the tables without the red packets, then make your mother happy by letting her keep the red packets. Perhaps our parents know we can't afford to pay for the tables if they take the red packets that's why they are giving that to us.
Sweetsobriquet: I would think so. My cousin told me that during his wedding, he paid for everything and his wife only paid for the bridal studio package cos he earns much more than her. For us, we earn about the same so I think 50-50 is fair. At least for the house loan, we split 55-45 hahah cos when we applied for the loan, i was still earning less than him.

[dixie]

We made an agreement that the female side would shoulder 30% of all expenses and the male 's side would pay the rest. My hubby told me that the man's portion should be larger than the woman's.

[pinkblue]

we splitted it since it's our wedding. our parents also lent some cash to us.

[reginalim]

My wedding we will be splitting equally.

[alfrida]

my htb insisted to pay the 70%. so i only get to pay the 30% of our wedding costs.

[kremela]

We split it equally 50-50.

[blowingbubbles]

We split it into a 60-40 sharing. 60 for my husband and 40 for me.

[missellise]

we did a 50-50 share to be fair.