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17-06-2011 04:02 PM #16
meilingg: haha...nice of your parents to take charge, if not things will be very complicated when everyone's opinions has to be listened to and followed!
rojak: hmm...that's a very interesting question...haha...maybe if you go to the traditional wedding gifts shops, they will be able to advise how to resolve this...am sure it's a fairly common occurrence!
18-06-2011 12:08 AM #17
useful information thumbs up
21-06-2011 10:01 AM #18
i think i will skip all these troublesome thing. So far both side mother also very modern mindset. never ask for all these things leh! LOL!
22-06-2011 01:45 PM #19
u v heng lor...both side mother won't ask for these things! can just do the most simple one coz otherwise all these traditional things end up more headache!
22-06-2011 02:17 PM #20
ya lor~ cheesecake so heng one~
01-07-2011 02:34 PM #21
OMG! i never thought about the different dialects getting married part. gah!!!
03-07-2011 08:49 PM #22
So for example if you (bride) is a Hokkien but your husband-to-be (groom) is a Teo Chew, you will have to follow his side and he will purchase the Teo Chew's necessities (Dowry set) for your wedding. His parents will buy you the "Teo Chew" Betrothal set etc. Hope this clears. Thanks!
04-07-2011 03:25 PM #23
OH! Poshberries! Your information really helps to clear things up a lot! I guess the females just sit and receive without having a say...
05-07-2011 02:50 PM #24
So let me put these simpler now to WHOM it may find my info useful:
Things need to be bought by the GROOM's family:
1) Betrothal Package (find the wedding shop venues in my other post)
2) A Combing Set (Not as required, unless you are a Cantonese or for a goodwill purpose)
3) Bed Setting Package ("An Chuang" process is required to ensure good & blissful marriage life with abundance of kids and this is usually done by the Groom's parents or the Fortune Woman)
4) 2 Essential Red Packets (Ang Baos):.
a) Pin Jin (Betrothal Token) - Bride's parents NEED to return a small portion of money back to the Groom's parents in return of favour & goodwill. The balance amount will be used by the Bride's parents to purchase the necessary items (dowry set, tea cups set, lamps, goodwill candies etc).
b) Li Ru Jin (Appreciation Token) - Bride's parents DO NOT Need to return a single dollar back to the Groom's family. This is a form of an appreciation to be presented as token to the Bride's parents for raising up a good & filial daughter and letting the Groom to have such a nice and lawful wife.
5) If the Groom's side is a Teochew, then his family will purchase the 4-pc Gold set by tradition for the Bride.
Things need to be bought by the BRIDE's family:
1) Dowry Package - include 2 Red Tradition Fans, Candies, etc (also find the wedding shop venues in my other post)
2) Bedding Set
3) Return of Betrothal Items (Items returned are from the Betrothal Package which the Groom's family has presented to the bride's family for a goodwill)
4) A Combing Set (Not as required, unless you are a Cantonese or for a goodwill purpose) - Bear in mind that if the Groom's parents want to have this hair combing (Shang Tou) procedure, the bride's parents must follow this tradition to have this done as well. And both families must comb the groom and the bride's hairdo at the same time at their own individual homes at the dawn on the Actual Day.
5) 2 Tea Cups Sets (1 set for the Bride's set and another set is for the Groom's side).
6) Lamp Sets (1 pair only - which stands for Double Happiness) - To be placed beside the lamp table on each left & right side of the bed.
7) Needle or Sewing Set (Depends - not as required or necessary)
Things need to be bought by BOTH BRIDE's & GROOM's families:
1) 2 New Pairs of Pyjamas (For individual use)
2) 2 New Pairs of Bedroom Shoes (For individual use)
Just my 2 cents' worth of info. Hope this helps and clear for some BTBs like me. I did some good researches by visiting the actual Wedding Shops personally for several times. You can try to visit them and I am sure they will explain the essential items to be purchased for your wedding preparations.
If there is anything that you guys want to add on, feel free to contribute more in this post! Thanks!!!
05-07-2011 03:09 PM #25
06-07-2011 01:57 PM #26
Canot buy 1 set teaset only?
Then bring over to groom side for ceremony?
07-07-2011 12:26 PM #27
The traditional wedding shop person told us buy 2 tea sets is for those "just in case". But I think ultimately, these things also depend on what the parents would want. Sometimes parents also don't need/ want everything. But good to know all of these! Thanks poshberries!
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