For many mothers, their daughter’s wedding is their last shot at parenting. With all the emotions that go into your wedding – from the preparation to the actual day – dealing with your mom’s level of involvement is a critical point that can make or break not just your wedding but even your relationship with her as well. Because of that, you need to take extra care on how you approach this sensitive issue and try to understand the possible reasons of your mother’s “Momzilla” tendencies so that you can address any conflict in the best way possible.
There are some possible reasons why your mom is overbearing but there are also effective ways on how you can deal with it.
Problem: She is anxious of the notion that her parenting duties have ended
Ultimately, any parent can have this idea cross their minds at their child’s wedding. Our mothers are most affected by this, especially when they have established a very close relationship with their daughter. This makes moms tend to take the lead in planning and executing their child’s wedding.
How to deal with it: Anticipate the anxiety
Understand the reason behind your mother’s actions, and try your best not to get annoyed when she tries to get too involved in your wedding. Keep in mind that it’s a mother’s instinct to care for her children even when they’re clearly already adults. Show your mom that you are properly mature and are now capable of making your own decisions. Demonstrate this by respectfully but firmly asserting your choices. Show her that you are organized and responsible enough to plan your own wedding.
Problem: She gets demanding about her investment at your wedding
It’s a sad thing, but some moms do get carried away with the financial aspect of their child’s wedding. Oftentimes, these moms don’t realize that they have become very controlling of how their money are spent for the wedding and end up insisting their personal preferences rather than their child’s. Your mom might overlook what you want for the food and décor when she has the spending power for your reception.
How to deal with it: Let her control only specific aspects of your wedding
Whether it’s overseeing the accommodation of your out-of-town guests or preparing the wedding favors, let your mother take charge of some wedding details that are not directly related to your ceremony or reception. This way you can have your personal preferences will be reflected on the general feel of your wedding. But this will mean that you also limit the financial support of your mom to the certain areas that you want her take charge of and that you shoulder the bigger expenses. It can be a good way to show her that you are financially capable as well.
Problem: She insists to know what’s best for you despite your protests
Relying on the old adage “mothers know best,” your mom may go all-out in showing you that she will always know better than you. Often, she’ll think this is because she has been there and done that and because she has an undeniable concern to keep you from making the same mistakes she did. And your wedding happens to be a good opportunity for her to be “nosy” and “critical” of your decisions.
How to deal with it: Assert your readiness to make your own decisions
Your mom just needs to be assured that you can make reliable decisions for yourself. Demonstrate to her that you are ready to own up to your choices and that you can deal with its consequences. By showing her that you are confident with what you want for your wedding and that you can follow through with it, she can relax and won’t find the need to impose her decisions on you.
Copyright © 2016 Perfect Weddings, All Rights Reserved.