While most people would be brimming with joy about your engagement, some of your female friends may have reservations on whether they can truly enjoy themselves on your wedding day. This is a common case among single girls who will have to attend your wedding without a date. And while they probably won’t mention it to you directly, you might notice their hesitation when you ask them to be part of your bridal party.
Being in the middle of all the preparations, a little consideration can go a long way in making sure that your single bridesmaids (or guests) will not feel uncomfortable, sorry, or worse, upset about their status on your wedding as it inadvertently puts pressure on them to be in a relationship.
Here are some do’s and don’ts.
Your girl friends—especially the singles—will appreciate it if you spend some “girl time” with them. Have lunch, coffee or tea together just like how you used to when you were younger. Here, you can talk about the wedding while giving focus not on it or you, but on their concerns. This way you assure them that you want to make the wedding as enjoyable to them as possible and that it doesn’t need to be an awkward situation for them just because they don’t have a partner.
While you can be in control at pre-wedding events, such as the bridal shower and rehearsal dinner, spare your single bridesmaids from having to defend their status or answer questions on sensitive topics like dating experiences and ex-boyfriends. Stay on the positive and create topics that will bring back fond memories in dating or being single. It can help if you talk to your bridesmaids both single and married to be sensitive and understanding of each other to keep them from arguing who’s in a better position.
It isn’t necessary for all your bridesmaids to be seated in one table. Let them mingle with the guests during the reception or have them seated with friends or family they are more comfortable with. This is no to say that you group the singles together, but do avoid seating them at a table of mostly married couples. It would be better if you can let them help you out in the seating arrangement so you can also give them the freedom to choose where and with whom they’ll be seated with.
It may be a fun idea but it is better not to set up any of your bridesmaid with a surprise date on your wedding. This can potentially turn out to be a “shoot-me-now” situation for any single person. Refrain from introducing a single bridesmaid to a single friend-of-a-friend as you can never be subtle enough in trying to set them up. It’s better to let them meet on their own. If one is truly interested to meet the other, then things will just unfold through his or her own efforts. Unless she asks to be introduced anybody in particular, don’t.
Your wedding is a celebration and not a platform for your friends and family to compare the state of their love lives. It is not a venue for anyone to gauge how better off his or her relationship is—or the lack thereof—in comparison to other people. The last thing you’d want on your wedding day is to make anyone, whether single or married, feel discouraged about their own romantic circumstances. Remember, you were once single too.
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