Kids, work, and a balanced social life will all keep you occupied. Here’s how to keep the romance alive despite hectic times.
A survey by the International Labour Organisation found that people in Asian countries, particularly Hong Kong, Japan, and Singapore, put in the highest number of hours at work each year. Add in the time required for raising children and maintaining social and family ties, and it’s a little wonder why many newly-married couples in Singapore become too busy for romance. So, here are six ways to help you and your partner stay in love with each other and still lead a full life.
In their book ‘Til Death Do Us Part, husband and wife Jeanette and Robert Lauer reports that couples who say they are very committed to each other are also much happier about their life and marriage. According to their book, when both spouses are committed, they make it a point to make their partner feel special. And it doesn’t always have to be about grand gestures; loving touches and simple gifts works very well too.
Find a Balance
Francine Klagsbrun, author of Married People: Staying Together in the Age of Divorce, says that couples who stay together are those who have found a balance between spending time with each other and attending to their other responsibilities. This is an important point for couples in Singapore, where both spouses normally have a full-time job and where family ties – even to external relatives – have to be continually renewed.
Make an Effort
To maintain the same high level of love for each other, you need to do things that would keep your partner falling in love with you. To stoke the embers of romance, consider having some extraordinarily romantic dates, a trip or vacation overseas, or (if it suits you both) spice up your bedroom activities. As Anne Hollonds of Relationships Australia says: “It’s about continuing to invest in keeping the relationship rich and interesting.”
A study by psychologist Dale Griffin Buffalo, New York found that people who keep a bright image of their partner kept a stronger and more satisfying relationship. (Indeed, according to neuropsychologist Helen Fisher, to be in love with one person is to over-value him or her.) To keep a burning love for your partner, don’t be disenchanted about his or her humanly faults. Instead, look at those imperfections as elements that make him the perfect partner for you.
Singapore is a busy, busy place, but it is rather small, which makes physical connection easy between you and your spouse. However, more importantly, you have to be connected emotionally. Check on each other’s feelings every now and then – it’s as simple as asking and listening – and share each other’s joy or sorrow, as the case may be.
Enjoy Each Other’s Company
According to Robyn Parker, author of the research paper “Why Marriage Last”, “Making time to focus just on each other feeds that sense of attachment, and when you add romance to the equation, you add another dimension.” Take joy and being with each other despite tight schedules and pressing demands, and no matter how busy your days may be, always reserve some time off to be just by yourself and just have a good time together.
As you move up in your respective careers, and as you raise your family, you and your spouse will have to deal with various responsibilities. But remember, none of those things should make you love each other any less, and changing times shouldn’t rub romance out of your lives.
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