Read Your Way Into Love: 5 Books for Men Entering the Dating Scene

Listen, we know men aren’t big on listening to other people for advice. But we also know that what men don’t like even more is sucking at the “Game”, that is, finding, capturing the interest and, ultimately, having the pleasurable company of beautiful women. If you’re a single guy who’s been single for far too long, check out these five books on how you can up your game, find the woman of you life, and be the man who actually
deserves her.

 

1. Neil Strauss – Rules of the Game

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Rules of the Game is the perfect starting piece for any bro who has only began dating (or, well, those have been on the look-out but haven’t had luck so far). What Ellen Fein’s All the Rules is for women, Rules of the Game is for men in that it introduces guys to the modern world of dating and hooking up, though with more emphasis on how to pick up women rather than to build long-term relationships with them.

In this book, Neil Strauss give solid advice about not just how to approach and engage women, but how to be a more confident and socially-adept person overall. Strauss sets himself apart from the pick-up artist community (yes, that’s actually a thing) by the strength of his game, and perhaps more significantly, for knowing when to stop playing and get serious. Strauss got married in 2013 and published his latest book on 2015—The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships.

 

2. David Deida – The Way of the Superior Man

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Don’t be discouraged by corny sound of the title, this book isn’t your typical guide on how to be an “alpha guy” in the fratboy sense of the word. Subtitled “A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire”, this book moves on from hooking up with women and discusses more how men can live up to their ideals in terms of their relationships, as well as their careers and spirituality.

The Way of the Superior Man guides how men can develop themselves and find a balance between the tough guy persona (the macho side that can’t express emotions) and the wimpy romantic persona (our expressive but sadly limp-wristed side). In David Deida’s view, the evolved man knows how to balance strength and sensitivity in all aspects of his life. If that’s your priority in life right now, this book’s the one for you.

 

3. Mark Manson – Models: Attract Women Through Honesty

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Models is a different take on the pick up game. Whereas Rules of the Game treats dating like, well, a game where one wins or loses, Mark Manson’s approach on dating treats it as an emotional human process where you get to enjoy the experience and learn from it, whether you get the girl or not. In fact, this book even goes against the typical advice of picking up women by sly means or through cunning. Instead, Manson’s core advice is, “Just be honest.”

The book teaches men how to attract women without sacrificing one’s integrity, covering how men can practice self-development (before they even engage women), keys on how to keep an interesting conversation, and even how to retrain one’s mind to optimize it for dating. However, what is perhaps the most striking aspect of the book is its emphasis on how men ought to be able to show their vulnerability, make real connections, and be emotionally aware.

 

4. John Gray – Mars and Venus on a Date

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Dr. John Gray coined the phrase “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” on his book of the same name, which was first published in 1985 and has since become a classic. (And if a guy came up with the most popular phrase to describe men and women, you can trust he knows a thing or two about the differences of the sexes.)

Mars and Venus on a Date expands on the first book and, as the subtitle says, serves as a guide in navigating the dating scene and create a loving and lasting relationship. It focuses on how singles—whether you’re totally new to dating or bouncing back from a failed relationship—can find their soul mates and how they should go through the five stages of dating.

 

5. Greg Behrendt & Liz Tucillo – He’s Just Not That Into You

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This may seem like an odd choice, given that this was actually written for women, but stay with us. The reason this book is our fifth choice isn’t because of lack of options (mind you, there are plenty, including Text Appeal by Michael Masters and How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure by Lou Paget)—it’s less obvious and quite funnier than that.

The book’s subtitle is “The No Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys”, and the reason we chose it is because, let’s face it, most guys don’t understand even their own selves. For every woman who wonders why men do the things they do, there’s a guy who don’t know why he acts the way he does either. So, is he into you or not? He probably honestly don’t really know, but both of you would come to an understanding (and stop wasting each other’s time) if you read this book.

Dating is often a daunting experience for men (especially for those who have had poor luck with it), but it is absolute something we have to do to get to something we need—that is, the company and love of a beautiful woman. With these five books, we offer how men can confidently enter the dating scene, find the right girl for himself, and be the man she would happily spend the rest of her life with.

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