It is normal for couples to argue. We have to acknowledge the fact that each was brought up by different families, with their own sets of values and traditions, and so occasional conflicts are only expected to arise from inevitable misunderstandings.
But love has bound these two distinct persons together. Love gives way to the possibility that two different personas could live harmoniously together for the rest of their lives. Love makes them more open to compromise, to putting their partner’s needs ahead of their, to appease in order to maintain peace, to mend any spite with love.
For a long lasting relationship, it is imperative that couples know how to resolve conflicts, how to manage clashing personalities, and how to express themselves with kindness in order to find common ground and understanding.
Aside from innate differences, conflicts are brought about by dissatisfaction. Why do we become dissatisfied? The simple answer is because our wants and needs are not met. Once we enter marriage, we must make sure that our love endures these differences and dissatisfactions. In the back of our minds, we fervently wish that, in whatever way, we can immediately resolve conflicts because, instinctively, we know that if these conflicts aren’t resolved right away, they would create an emotional chasm that will trap both partners and doom the relationship into a hurtful separation.
In resolving conflicts, we must understand and acknowledge how conflicts arise. We must go back to the root of the conflict and see how it came about. Again, conflicts arise because of differences and dissatisfaction. Let’s say one partner is not satisfied with something in the relationship, so they grumble and nag. Our initial reaction might be to snap at them, but understand that this would only exacerbate the problem.
First thing we should do is listen to what they want. If it is not clear, then ask again. Take note of their answer and let this be forever etched in your memory. After all, it is them we will be spending forever with, right? This simple requests should be clear to you because it is important for the next step.
As the previous strategy is easy and straightforward, our next step is already the last one. The next and final thing to do is to just do what they want without grumbling back or nagging about it—it’s that easy. As long as what they ask isn’t really that difficult or cause you any inconvenience, it would be better that you just attend to it and maintain an amiable state in your relationship.
The moment they see that you are beaming with love and a positive attitude, you can expect a positive response as well, especially if your partner realizes that you are putting an effort to make them happy. If from time to time you grant your partner’s wishes, they will do that same for you. A relationship is a two-way process: you give in to your partner’s wishes, and he or she would in turn would give in to yours.
This may be a simple process but this will do wonders for your relationship. It is that simple to keep conflicts at bay—no further discussions, no ensuing heated debates.
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