Wedding Planning and Preparation: Traditional Responsibilities of the Groom

Planning a wedding is a hassle, but when the bride and groom work together, the whole process will be smoother and much more enjoyable. Listed below are a list of some of the common duties carried out by the groom and his entourage.


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Wedding Rings: The soon-to-be-married couple shops for the wedding bands together, after all these rings will symbolize their commitment to each other. The groom-to-be needs to take a more active role by sharing his preferences openly. Having differing opinions is alright, because brides and grooms seldom choose matching rings these days. They rather invest in a ring they’d like to wear.

Marriage License: The groom starts by filing a Notice of Marriage online at the Registrar of Marriage website. Upon getting the marriage licence following the 21-day waiting period, he books a date a suitable date for the solemnization ceremony and remind the registered witnesses to be there on that day.

Guest List: The couple needs to draft their guest list before booking the venue. This means they need to consider the amount they are willing to spend and the capacity of the prospective venues within their budget. The groom can do his part by ensuring his half of the list keeps to the number they agreed on.

Transportation: The groom is responsible for booking the transport for the wedding. He has to make sure everyone arrives at the different wedding venues on time. He may even help friends and relatives book their transport, especially when they are visiting from another country.


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Accommodation: Having a place to stay after the wedding festivities gives the couple time to be alone together for the first time as husband and wife. To make the moment special and more intimate, the groom may want to book a hotel room.

Writing the Wedding Vows: The groom has to make sure the vows match the same tone and format as the one written by his bride. While writing his draft he has to reflect on the relationship and come up with a few promises. After he is finished with the initial draft, he will have to shorten the vows so that it can be said within one or two minutes.

Best Man: Choosing just one guy among his closest friends is not an easy task. The groom has to pick someone who is responsible and punctual. His chosen best man should also know the couple well enough to be able to give a speech during the wedding dinner.


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Groomsmen: These men are the groom’s close friends or male relatives. They plan the bachelor’s party and cajole the groom to have fun. Other responsibilities include decorating the getaway car, participating in the gatecrash ceremony and serving as ushers during the wedding.

Gifts for the Best Men and Groomsmen: To thank his friends and relatives for being his best man and groomsmen, the groom may want to prepare a little token of appreciation. This includes either a small gift or an ang pao. More generous grooms may even offer to pay for tuxedos the men have to rent or purchase for the wedding.

Gatecrash Ceremony: Gamely participating in all the games planned by the bride and her bridesmaids is expected, because these games are designed to test how much the groom is willing to endure for his bride. Fortunately he can rely on his trusty groomsmen to help him out. Towards the end of the ceremony, the groom negotiates the entrance fee with the bridesmaids and he hands them each an ang pao.


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Toasts: The groom gives his first toast during the rehearsal dinner and a second one during the wedding banquet. He has to remember to compliment his bride, thank their parents and thank their guests for gracing the occasion during his speech.

Honeymoon: Couples may choose the destination together, but the husband-to-be has to plan and organize the trip. He collects the necessary travel documents and books the accommodation and transport. Many romantic men use this opportunity to plan a special surprise for their wives such as a relaxing trip to an expensive spa or a romantic dinner at a fancy restaurant.



Photo by Volans Couture

The modern groom is enthusiastic about getting involved, but he needs to fulfil his duties first before rushing over to help his fiancée. This prevents him from getting distracted by miscellaneous details at the expense of the more important tasks.

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