Need to vent on future in-laws!

[timetostartliving]

I'm extremely upset right now I desperately need to vent. My bf, his mother and sister live in an ulu location of Singapore. I would say it's easy to go to JB, u get the idea. His brother also live nearby with his wife and 4-year-old son.

My future mother-in-law's ideal desire is for us to live together under one roof with her and my bf's sister (she's likely to remain single). My bf's dad passed away already. She initially wanted to put my bf's name for the house and I objected vehemently because that would mean our first-timer chance to ballot for a new HDB would be gone. And I was so angry at how selfish she could be! Yea, her son wouldn't be put in any disadvantage situation. But what about me??? That means I couldn't own a house which is an asset for old age. Even if she's willing to sell me the current house at cost price (which of course she wouldn't), I would feel heavy-hearted coughing up $200k for a location close to JB!

After explaining to my bf, he agree for us to ballot for a house in a good location. Recently we got a pretty good queue number for a HDB flat in a pretty ok location. Yesterday, she tried talking me out of giving up my ballot number! She said we should wait for a better location because after election gahmen would release more sites and prices will drop blah blah blah! She wants us to wait for a BTO at Queenstown! I told her the whole Singapore would ballot for it and what chance do we get when none of our parents live nearby??? And wait for how long? We're in our 30s already, maybe by the time our flat is ready we will be 40 years old! And how much would it cost??? Sigh, I'm fuming so mad right now...

Now I don't even have mood to select the flat and plan for our wedding! I'm even deliberating to quit altogether since it's so much easier to be single! My dream is to go overseas to work and I gave it up for him.......

 

[dinobaby]

hey dear, sorry to hear of your predicament. many couples go through in law problems, it's one of the main sources of conflict for many couples even though the relationship between you and your hubby to be is good.

yea it will not be beneficial for you to have the HDB transferred into your hubby's name. but giving up and going overseas to work will not be helping the situation much, it could delay your plans to settle down by another few years, unless you manage to find someone else you are willing to spend your life with overseas. If your hubby is willing to stand by your decision, you should go ahead and ballot. anyway, even after balloting and choosing the flat, it will be another 3 years before the HDB is built and you still have that time to change your mind if you so wish. Hope it helps dear

 

[geraldineyap]

oh dear...sounds like it is not easy for you to be handling ur relationship with ur future MIL...hope things are better for u now...?

 

[kimchoo]

relax relax...in your situation, i would be bursting too! wish we could say that this is it and then things hereafter will take on a rosy turn but in reality, it will continue to be a challenge...main thing is between you and your htb, how are you both decided on handling this? sounds like ur husband quite reasonable so im sure u both can continue to talk things thru. jia you ok?

 

[emi30]

chill chill.. From the way u mentioned, i believe ur husband is a reasonable person. Hope all will be good for u. *hugz*

 

[universalbunny]

Jiayou! It's not always easy dealing with another family that suddenly comes into the picture. But, IMO, Fight for your current family( your husband and you and possible children). I'm not saying your MIL is in the wrong, just that she does not understand the implications of her actions. also, it may seem to me that your MIL seems to be a little lonelier after her son marries you (less time to spend with her) and therefore, tries various means to keep all of you close to her. Maybe can work out something so that she dont feel that way that much? I would suggest to discuss this issue together with your husband, and come to a consensus...no point 1 person think and say, end up your MIL not happy, you even not happier and your husband sandwich in middle.

 

[Pinkpig]

My MIL is something like that also..

 

[rojak]

how about suggesting you 2 bid together for a place together? so you can live nearby, but not under the same roof, and yet have the option of moving (togerher) to a less ulu place..

 

[sugar001]

hi dear, understand your frustration. Many ppl gt problem with their in-law. Don't understand why in-law won't be able to take their daughter-in-law like their own daughter. I suggest you to have your full support from ur bf in whatever decision you make. Don't give up on this r/s just because of your in-law. It's nt worth. SHE's nt worth it =)