Bickering during wedding prep

[chrisnchoc]

Same here . my bto is ready by Apr 2014. My HTB is the eldest son and while waiting for our house to be ready we decide to get married in Q3 2013 before the house instead of after renovation as it would delay 2 years. Our quarrel was on staying separately for about 6 months because his family has poor hygiene habits.This issue then become a bugging issue as my parent believe i should accommodate as the future da shao. I am the youngest so through this preparation got to train myself to switch my mindset to achieve a harmony equlibrum.

oh mine! im in a similar situation but its not due to poor hygience rather: another someone who is extremely hostile in the household whom i dun wanna face

imagine leaving house n coming home at night seeing a stinking black pot? argghh.

we have not reach consensus to stay separately before the house is ready.. c.o.m.m.u.n.i.c.a.t.i.o.n is so tough at times.

 

[Tenshi]

Ladies .... if you find that you are not happy because your man is too concern of his budget or out of his budget .... I would recommend that if you want to be happy and get wat you want and your man happy, ... you can just top up the differece. wedding things does not means have to be paid fully by man. like tat both can be happy.

if by topping up the difference makes you feel the pinch .... then you might feel how he feels too.

sorry does not mean to offend anyone here just sharing my thoughs.

 

[joysl82]

for my case, he refused to let me to do the top up. he insisted everything must be paid thru our joint acc. so i have to accept something which its 2nd in choice.

i feel upset but not to argue wif him further, i have to accept. i wanted chris ling for pre-wedding shoot so much. but to him, its too ex. then settle for my dream wedding. i still have reservations abt my dream wedding, still prefer chris ling....

not too sure if in the end, i be happy wif them. but at least, will not argue wif him.

 

[spring_tomorrow]

I share the same words you have when I was planning my wedding last year. We got married just before Christmas and the month before was a terrible period because I was very busy at work (late nights) and need to meet my wedding vendors, have ops meetings with my girlfriends, do up wedding ops plan/programme, wedding favours, dress, look for shoes...everything and anything that a bride needs to do...during this period initially..my husband had a very nonchalant attitude...and left everything to me knowing that i am capable to do it (i've been an events manager for years so multi-tasking is my job)..but the stress simply accummulated...and i kept falling sick...when i went to the doctor, doc said i was having borderline high blood pressure...i then broke down..i was such a perfectionist (which bride isn't? we just want the best for our wedding) and want everything to be perfect...when i talked to my husband...my husband thought that i was handling everything perfectly well on my own and that everything was in good order...he was assuming it...that's why he didn't interfere with my planning and left everything to me...I got very emotional...we fought, quarrelled and I cried as I was too frustrated...i had hoped he would play a more proactive role as this is our wedding, not just my wedding...after days of fighting and absolute silence and soul searching...all of a sudden he was contacting the string quartet...researching for photographer/videographer..preparing our wedding songs cd and so on...

i'm not saying quarrelling is a good thing...but sometimes between a couple...quarrelling is to make known to each other our true feelings...because only when we are upset..then we truly express our real words (which of course can hurt sometimes)..i am thankful for having a understanding husband who stepped up in the end and made sure our wedding rocked...it did...and no words could describe the feeling in us...it was a once-in-a-lifetime project for both of us...and we delivered...

so don't be discouraged...there bound to be disagreements and fights...but communication is the key...so don't give up...most importantly, enjoy the process of planning, not just the outcome because everything will just fall in place ultimately...

 

[Korean Wedding Photos]

hi Carlise, both of you will have to communicate to understand what each of you are thinking in order to reach a compromise. after you are married, you will realise the wedding day is just one special day of your life and the real journey begins as you spend your life together.

 

[AnnGoh]

I faced the same situation and we broke off. And was back eventually. However, it teaches me and my HTB a lesson that we should communicate and know our limits. Talk to him nicely. And bring him to the wedding venue you like and is within his means, i am sure he will do it for the sake of you! Cos my HTB did it for me..

 

[Seasons]

Think over here, mine situation is different. I'm the one who keep telling my HTB we are over budget but maybe due to his character of which he is not the who calculate and plan hence I'm the one who keep reminding him

 

[stardusk]

haha, for me, if i want a designer wedding gown, i will pay for it.
I wanted photoshoot in japan, i also paid for it myself. So htb got no reason to complain or argue that i overspend his money.

I also don't think the groom has to pay for everything.

I having more problems with my parents and parents-in-law interfering and wanting to hold everything budget. from raffles hotel I downgrade to peony jade, a little emo. not sure if anything can make up for it, now that i have lost my dream venue. but it hasn't hurt our relationship la, just that we are both irritated that we can't make our own decisions.