When is it time to give up?

[icequeen]

Actually, i kept praying he'll change. But he wont. i didnt really give up, he did. He gave up long ago, he refuses to change, no matter how much I ask him. All he says is, yes he's a bad man. he turned around and said that things have gone too far, its impossible to go on. When all along he was the one who didnt put in any effort into the marriage. For 7 months now, he doesnt answer my calls. I begged his family to help talk to him, but they ignored me. his father lied for him when i called.

Monday was our 'anniversary' but i guess it meant nothing to him.

 

[Love a lot]

Just read from the beginning n realised this has dragged on for months.. Must have been excruciating for u.. I had an ex who is really similar to him for 7 years.. But we are only long-distance for 3 years... He is taoist n I am protestant.. He doesnt like any churches.. His dad thinks I am after his money when he doesnt have any.. we quarrel almost everyday.. I can fully understand how u feel... But one day after a huge arguement, in a moment of anger, I just asked him nvr to call me again.. I cried everyday... But I had v supportive parents who were there 4 me everyday till I met my hubby.. U must let yr family or close friends know.. No matter how strong u r, u need support esp itz not easy to go thru an annulment.. This experience with my ex made me appreciate my hubby a lot and I was thankful I did not cling to tht rs.. It may seemed like everything is not going right for u now... But dun give up on love, youself or God... He has a bigger plan 4 u.. Just that u had not met him yet and when that time comes, u will be ready.. Go out meet friends.. U will b surprised how fast yr wounds can heal.. Stay positive, my dear...

 

[icequeen]

Thanks a lot for your advices and comfort.

Its just the biggest disappointment in my life and i think to my whole family because even my dad accepted and welcomed him without hesitation, and he doesnt usually judge ple wrongly. all the promises he made were made without consideration or sincerity. And i honestly believed he was a man of integrity.
i do feel like a failure, and i have lost confidence in men. I never thought i'll experience this, especially when i was putting in so much effort. plus having met a number if other controlling egoist men, and having a very irresponsible bro-in-law, i really want to be extr extra cautious about the men i meet.

 

[ristymisty]

dear icequeen, it's time to wake up. You have married the wrong guy. Please get yourself out asap. The signs are all there... no husband who truly values or loves the wife will ignore her for 7 months (or even a few days) like this. Isn't it pretty clear to you already?

i think God will understand and forgive you if you divorce this guy. (and i am a CHristian).

 

[icequeen]

Love is blind.
He has signed the papers and sent them back to the lawyer, and i didnt know because even now, he wouldnt call me.
I know i married the wrong guy, he cheated my whole family. But i still pray he'll change.

 

[ristymisty]

Love is blind.
He has signed the papers and sent them back to the lawyer, and i didnt know because even now, he wouldnt call me.
I know i married the wrong guy, he cheated my whole family. But i still pray he'll change.

Do you mean he signed the divorce papers? If that is the case, it is even more clear that he does not want to be with you anymore.

Icequeen, I really feel for you when I read your story. But ask yourself why you are holding on to this marrage? If it can even be call a marriage? You are still young, you have a life ahead of you, why waste it on a man who does not even treat you as a friend, much less a husband.

What is it that you are holding on to? You love him, or you are just afraid to "break the rule" and divorce? If you truly love him... then seeing him as the way he is, Let Him Go.

If you love yourself, Let Him Go.

I wish you well... *hugs*

 

[icequeen]

Yes he signed. And no i just have to wait to attend court.
You're right, i cant even call this a marriage, its laughable. And i am cynical towards marriage now, its such a fragile thing.

I dont know what i am holding on to, he treated me very badly even when we were dating, especially in terms of emotional and verbal abuse. but he always says i do that to him. i say sorry when he says that, but he has never said sorry to me or tried to change. i think i cant let go also because he has not realised or truly been sorry for all the wrong he has done to me.