Everything You Need to Know About the Engagement Party

After your fiancé’s romantic proposal, the next major event on your way to your wedding is the engagement party. In the days before Facebook, this was often the first time that a couple would openly announce their engagement (thus the name). These days, however, the attendees know what’s up ahead, and the occasion focuses on celebrating the engagement and acquainting the couple’s nearest and dearest to one another.

Image Courtesy of My Dream Wedding

Here’s all you need to know to throw a wonderful engagement party that will have your guests looking forward to the big day.

The Date

The best time to have your engagement party is 2–4 months after the proposal. By this point, you and your fiancé should already have a clear picture of the kind of wedding you want to have and have fixed its major details (date, venue and theme) — details that your guests would certainly like to know — but are not yet too swamped with the tasks of actually organizing the wedding.

The Attendees

At its most intimate, the engagement party would just be you and your fiancé, your respective parents and siblings, and your closest friends (typically, those who would be included in your bridal party). How many other guests you want to have depends on the level of intimacy you want and how close you feel towards them. Keep in mind that it's understood that who you invite to the engagement party are also invited to the wedding day (though you still have to send them an invitation for formality's sake). As it is largely an informal event, you can invite guests to the party through calls, text messages, or even a group chat on Facebook. Lastly, if you’re going to observe the giving of betrothal gift and dowry, consider having it at this time.

Image Courtesy of My Dream Wedding

The Venue

There’s no rule for where you should have the engagement party. You can have something as casual as a barbecue at your condominium grounds, or have a glamorous time at a fancy restaurant — either is okay. However, a happy medium is to have it at a café or bistro, which has the advantage of having a casual vibe while also being stylish.

The Cost

It’s tradition in some countries for the parents of the bride-to-be to host the engagement party, and therefore foot the bill. However, this isn’t the case in Singapore, and it’s normally the couples who cover its cost. We recommend allocating about 8% of your total wedding budget to the engagement party (but only 4%, if you’re also going to have a rehearsal dinner). If you’re trying to cut cost, it’s perfectly okay to just have the party at one of your homes.

Image Courtesy of White Link

The Set-Up

Depending on your venue, you may need to add a few décor, such as some flowers, banners or balloons — anything to spruce up the place and give it the right cosy atmosphere. As for entertainment, some soothing background music is all you need, some bossa nova maybe or slow jazz. There’s no need to have an exact program for the night: just be a good host and spend a few minutes with each of your guests, making sure to introduce everyone to each other, especially the parents. Some speeches are also to be expected, ideally from you or your partner before the meal (just thank everyone for coming and maybe give a short version of your love story), and from one of the parents. Toasts and sharing of anecdotes about you and your fiancé are welcome additions.

Food & Drinks

What fare you serve should depend on your guests. If you’ve invited only your closest family members — say, if you have a party of 15 people or less — then a plated dinner (if you’re dining out) is advisable. If you’re having the party at home, you can have a barbecue or an authentic family-style dining where everyone sits at a long table and share foods from large bowls. If you’ve invited a lot of people, however, a buffet style dining is probably your best choice. Make sure to have some desserts.

Image Courtesy of Annabel Law Productions

As for drinks, welcome refreshments are a must. Offer a choice (or two) of beer, champagne or wine — no spirits. Some fruit juice or soft drinks should also be available.

The Outfit

Now, your engagement party will probably be your first appearance as an engaged couple to a large audience, and so it befits that you wear something glamorous. That said, you have a lot of wedding expenses ahead of you so don’t spend like crazy on your dress for the night. A classy black dress or a white tea dress is a safe and excellent choice.

Documentation

While hiring a photographer for the occasion sounds a bit too much, we do suggest you keep a record of the event. Get plenty of group photos and some selfies (you can even DIY a photo booth), and file it away in case you want to include it in your final wedding album.

Image Courtesy of Chris Ling Photography

Gifts

The tradition of having an engagement party (as practiced in the West) is fairly recent in Singapore, and most guests would probably come empty handed. However, if you’re observing the giving of betrothal and dowry gifts, have this duly arranged with the concerned persons. As a matter of etiquette, make sure to send thank you messages to everyone who attended your engagement party (especially if they did anything special at the event). Tell them how much you appreciate their coming and that you’re looking forward to having them once again — on your wedding day.